Insecurities. We all have them!
... and they play a heavy role in how we interact with each other in our multitude of relationships, whether work related, intimate, or friendships. The more we let these insecurities affect us, the more they negatively impact the relationships we build with the people we care about most.
Let’s analyze the insecurity of being lonely. One can choose to face this insecurity by focusing on themselves to enhance their every day situation, or one can seek the attention of others to temporarily fill the void of feeling lonely. Unfortunately, the latter is more common and leads into a negative cycle that then involves the practices of manipulation and deceit.
What do you mean Julio?
Well, for example, let’s say you’re in the dating scene just to continuously fill your void of loneliness...
Let’s say you’ve treated guys/girls with very selfish intentions, but you’ve always desired to be with someone who has a heart of gold. One miraculous day, your prayer is answered, but you’re so used to manipulating men/women that you slightly treat them in the same manner. In turn, you doubt that this person is actually real, you mistakenly assess their true intentions, and wrongly apply your own practices and beliefs to their character.
- Let’s say you ask the person for honesty, and it’s easy for them because it’s part of their character.
- Let’s say you ask the person for fidelity, and it’s easy for them because it’s part of their character.
- Let’s say you ask the person for communication, and it’s also easy for them because it’s part of their character.
- Let’s say you ask the person for peace and no drama, and it’s easy for them because all they want to focus on is progression.
- Let's say you ask the person for reliability, and it's easy for them because it's part of their character.
- Let’s say you discuss a possible future with this person, and that's easy for them because consistently progressing is part of their character.
Although the beginning of your interaction may be fulfilling for some time, your true colors will eventually become apparent. Sadly, that person was probably already aware, seeing all of this from the very beginning, but choosing to weather the storm because of their desire to be there for you.
Your years of manipulation involving dishonesty, infidelity, drama, and the lack of effective communication then create turbulence between the two of you.
In turn, you aren’t completely honest with this golden heart. You fail to provide the golden heart with a sense of fidelity, because you’re entertaining everyone else (due to your insecurity). This then causes some drama, because you’ve wrongly imposed your life practices onto theirs. Drama also arise because you fail to effectively communicate, leaving them in the dark. Even so, you see their worth and you don’t want to lose them to the turbulence you’ve created.
Think about it…
You’ve essentially created a situation where you couldn’t uphold the standards you’ve set for the other person, all because you initially took the negative path in dealing with your insecurity of feeling lonely.
The Butterfly Effect. Every decision you make in your life will be the cause that affects your next decision. Everything then comes in, full circle.
Life isn’t about how hard you can hit; Life is about how hard you can get hit and get back up again.
I have/had my insecurities of abandonment and loneliness. I just chose a brighter path. I chose the path to keep myself productive, excelling at everything that I could along the way. I made the decision to not be the people who created my insecurities to begin with. I grew up with the notion that no one should experience the pain I experienced. In doing so, I’ve created an energy that attracts great, or potentially awesome, people.
My father left when I was a 9 year old. I felt alone for a very long time, even though I was surrounded by people. Even with that, I made the decision to always surround myself with positive influences and I also made the decision to never be the reason for anyone experiencing the pain I lived with. I faced my insecurity head on with a positive light in mind, feeding the world with a positive Julio.
I could have easily taken the other road. Heck, there was a point in my early college days where I experienced heartbreak, which was enough to turn me stone cold. That heartbreak made me so selfish, that I didn’t care about anything but making money, going to school and making more money. Later, someone genuine walked into my life and I didn’t know how to adjust because of how broken I was from my previous relationship. Even so, I took a leap of faith and grew with that person. Luckily, she had all the patience in the world and it took her departure for me to realize, that the stone cold path I was taking was no good.
I’m not writing this entry out of the blue. I’m writing this because I understand both sides. Maybe writing this will wake some of you up before you lose something that actually matters in life ...
... the lifetime companionship of truly genuine people.
My mother always told me, “It’s a lot harder for a woman to find a good man than a man find a good woman.”
This is fairly true. There are a lot more women in the world wired into seeking that emotional connection with a valuable man. Men are wired differently until they grow into the notions of maturely creating a healthy environment for their future family. Before then, men are wired with the intentions of living outside of monogamy. Sadly, this creates a terrible cycle between men and women, a cycle involving evil manipulation and deceit. (Then people wonder why there’s hate in the world… smh. I feel that this holds true because people choose the negative path when dealing with these painful situations, which then affects their surroundings negatively. I may not have a degree in psychology, but isn’t this apparent?)
Be mindful, I made sure to include the word “good” before men and women because there are some shitty people out in the world. Truly, shitty people.
...and guess why they exist??
If you guessed that they took the negative path in resolving their quest to resolve their insecurities...
YOU ARE CORRECT!!
Don’t be that person. Find the better path and become the light in the world. Being genuine and true is much more fulfilling than being a deceitful & manipulative person. Not just that, growing along side a person who lights up the world with their presence is that much more fulfilling, because you’ll have someone to grow with together.
You never know, that genuine person in your life may be the answer to your prayers. Appreciate & cherish their existence. Grow alongside them and become a better version of yourself...
...before it’s too late.
No one deserves to be alone, and I've learned that living through my life experiences. Continuing down the path of negativity will only result in consistent unhappiness and emotional abuse. Living in the world of manipulation and deception only gets you so far. Seriously!
Wake up! I, myself, have learned time and time again, that when people work together, so much more gets accomplished. You can build a home on your own, but you can build an empire with someone else. That all depends on the choice you make today.
Trust me, I know.
- Julio Caezar